


Experiment Log 261-Cf-Pr-a

by Snickerer



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: Experiment log, Gen, SCP cross-testing, We're trying to do some actual SCIENCE here, guest appearance by Dr Bright, guest appearance by Dr King, reference links EVERYWHERE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:59:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snickerer/pseuds/Snickerer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The apparently nonrandom nature of prior items dispensed by SCP-261 has long been cited as evidence of some form of deliberate volition, though it is difficult to assess whether and to what degree it may be sentient..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experiment Log 261-Cf-Pr-a

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluelittleheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelittleheart/gifts).



**SCP CROSS-TESTING APPLICATION**

**Primary SCP** : [SCP-261](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-261)  
 **Object Class** : Safe  
 **Researcher** : Dr. ██████  
 **Purpose** : Feasibility assessment of targeting the output of SCP-261

The apparently nonrandom nature of prior items dispensed by SCP-261 has long been cited as evidence of some form of deliberate volition, though it is difficult to assess whether and to what degree it may be sentient. Several previous experiments have suggested awareness or access to a degree of information inexplicable by conventional means [see [Experiment Log 261 Ad De](http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-261-ad-de)]; the current prevailing theory is that this is related to the apparent extradimensional nature of SCP-261’s mechanisms, though as-yet-undetermined telepathic or psychic means have not been ruled out.

The existence (and theoretical quality of) any sense of humor has been a topic of occasionally acrimonious debate. However, the possibility of a directing sentience suggests a potential source for items suitable for incentive or reward for other SCPs, especially those for which it is inefficient, prohibitively expensive, or impossible to procure suitable materials through conventional channels.

Estimated risk is minimal; the scope of experimentation involves no direct inter-SCP contact. As an initial feasibility assessment, target subjects will be chosen for low hazard of containment breach and potential for observing modification of behavior. Review of primary testing log indicates that all items dispensed by SCP-261 to date, including those subsequently found to be hazardous for human consumption or handling, have been stable while remaining in unbreached original packaging. Criteria for disposition of items and indications for suspension of experimentation are included in attached protocols.

* * *

APPROVED BY SITE COMMAND ██/██/██  
  
  
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 **Experiment Log 261-Cf-Pr-a**

 _Preliminary Phase  
_ SCP-261 has previously been tested numerous times with historical currencies, as well as counterfeit or valueless inputs. Several additional initial trials were performed to assess for situational linkage between input and output.

 **Money entered** : None; original copy of a concept design for a commemorative edition 500-yen coin  
 **SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered** : Powered  
 **Item description** : Folded sheet of paper bearing a concept design for a can of cherimoya Fresca. The Coca-Cola Company has never produced this flavor.

 **Money entered** : 500 yen on prepaid gift card  
 **SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered** : Powered  
 **Item description** : Glossy cardboard envelope densely covered in unknown script, with a viewing window exposing a surface covered in metallic film bearing a hologram-like image resembling a multi-layered pastry. When opened, the metallic film was found to cover both sides of a 10x15cm rectangular plastic card; when examined under magnification, the reverse side is covered in intricate geometrical designs reminiscent of circuitry. Unclear at this time whether this is decorative or may have additional function. Retained for further research.

 **Money entered** : 500 yen coin, with a small scrap of cloth from [SCP-492](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-492) (voluntarily donated at Dr. ██████’s request) affixed with cellophane tape  
 **SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered** : Powered  
 **Item description** : Pile of straw, loosely fastened in a bundle with a loop of cellophane tape, much of which was shed onto the floor during the process of retrieval. Straw was determined by a D-class subject to be edible, though still tough and tasteless; SCP-492 politely expressed an inability to think of any use for the remaining material.  
The scrap of cloth was ejected from the coin return, tape still attached.

 **Money entered** : 500 yen coin, carried by [SCP-492](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-492) for the previous 24 hours at Dr. ██████’s request  
 **SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered** : Powered  
 **Item description** : “Tastee Smell” - plastic vial containing a clear liquid with bright, multicolored floating particles. On opening it, D-class subject reported a smell “like the best kitchen getting ready for a full on spread, y’know? All kinds of great stuff, only they don’t really mix together or make you hungry or anything, it’s like you’re getting the best part of all of it right there.” The level of liquid in the tube was observed to slowly but steadily decrease while the vial was open and stop when it was recapped. SCP-492 expressed pleased satisfaction with the experience when allowed to try it out, and requested permission to keep the vial; this request was granted.  
  
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 _Series 1_  
Prior results (see [Experiment Log 261 Ad De](http://www.scp-wiki.net/experiment-log-261-ad-de), particularly the series performed by Dr. King) implied that SCP-261 had some way to determine the subject on whose behalf transactions were made. The preliminary trials supported this assumption, as well as the lack of necessity for physical identifiers. Unless otherwise noted, all further tests were performed with SCP-261 powered and input of 500-yen coins that had been kept in the immediate vicinity of the intended cross-testing subject for the preceding 24 hours.

 **Subject** : [SCP-042 ](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-042)  
**Item description** : “Carrot Ambrosia Puffs” - printed in Greek on a waxed paper bag filled with crispy orange puffed snacks. D-class subject rapidly consumed entirety of provided sample. Flavor was described as “carrot, and...something else, I’m not sure what, but this stuff is amazing - is there any more?” Request was denied. Subject showed no subsequent ill effects and performed within normal range on a standard psychological testing panel.  
 **Subject response** : Remainder of sample was approved for delivery to SCP-042, which initially showed no interest but subsequently allowed itself to be fed the entire portion. Per records, this is the first solid nourishment successfully administered to SCP-042 since ██/██/██. SCP-042’s responsiveness to external stimuli has since declined; the primary research team is currently investigating whether this represents a return to its usual baseline trend of deterioration or a further exacerbation.

 **Subject** : [SCP-079](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-079)  
 **Item description** : A 2cm unlabeled cubical beige electronic storage device with a cable determined to be compatible with an Exidy Sorcerer microcomputer cassette port.  
 **Subject response** : After extensive discussion with the primary research team and Site Command, a one-time exception was permitted to allow this to be connected to SCP-079. When it was plugged in, SCP-079’s screen displayed what appeared to be a 30-second iteration of the Game of Life cellular automaton. Smoke was then observed rising from the storage device, which was immediately disconnected; it was found to be nonfunctional and was disposed of by incineration. SCP-079’s reaction was difficult to assess. Following the experiment, it repeatedly asked “What.” and “Why.” and seemed dissatisfied with the answers it received. When asked its opinion and whether it had liked the experience or not, it responded with ambiguity and increasing suspicion.

 **Subject** : [SCP-086](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-086)  
 **Item description** : “Cheezy Pencil” - an item closely resembling a brand new standard pencil, with name stamped on its side, a standard HB grade marking, and a core composed of a typical graphite mixture. It lacked an eraser, and while it sharpened normally in a standard sharpener, its casing was a bright orange homogeneous solid with a consistency reminiscent of a light plastic.  
 **Subject response** : SCP-086 was initially reluctant to participate, citing policy concerns about cross-SCP experimentation. It eventually agreed after it was presented with documentation of approval by Site Command and reminded that this was a rare opportunity for the Foundation to test SCP-261’s abilities with the cooperation of a sentient non-humanoid. The item was sharpened in SCP-086-2 without incident or ill effect. SCP-086 was somewhat reticent about the experience, though it readily responded to direct questioning. SCP-086 reported that the experience was not uncomfortable or distressing, and confirmed that it was able to differentiate between the item and the standard pencils, but it appeared to have difficulty expressing how they were dissimilar and was ambivalent when asked its opinion. When asked how it would feel about a repetition of this experiment, SCP-086 returned to discussion of the risks and advisability of experimentation with multiple objects with unknown properties.

 **Subject** :[ SCP-131](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-131)  
 **Item description** : A clear cylinder with a metallic base and a single round button on its top. When pressed, the cylinder filled with a bright, multicolored, continuously moving electromagnetic discharge somewhat reminiscent of lightning or commercial plasma globes. Analysis detected emissions only in the visible spectrum.  
 **Subject response** : Both SCP-131-A and SCP-131-B immediately gravitated toward the cylinder when it was placed on the floor near them and continued to stare at it, motionless, for approximately 15 minutes until the effect dissipated. Once the cylinder became inert they returned to their usual activities.

 **Subject** : [SCP-163](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-163)  
 **Item description** : A rectangular package approximately 15cm x 15cm x 5cm, appearing a uniform, slightly reflective grey. Further analysis confirmed markings visible in the UV spectrum, images of which were recorded for further research. Noninvasive examination revealed no obvious violations of the parameters in Manual M-163-1.  
 **Subject response** : After discussion with supervisory personnel, the item was brought intact to SCP-163’s enclosure. On seeing it, SCP-163 initially froze and made a rapid vertical gesture with its delicate manipulators believed to be associated with agitation. It eventually approached the item and spent the following three hours alternating between holding the package up close to its eye, manipulating it in a variety of ways without breaching the seal, and suddenly placing it down on a nearby surface and pacing or retreating to another room; these activities were interspersed with brief cessations of movement, and switches between the behaviors occurred without warning or discernable pattern. SCP-163 then approached personnel and engaged in a series of gestures, many of which have not been previously documented. When no response was received, it repeated a slower, simplified version of the sequence. Assigned personnel attempted to respond using established communication signs referring to routine needs, but SCP-163 performed its negative gesture and retreated to a corner of its room, where it remained huddled with the package grasped in its delicate manipulators for the following six hours. Since then, SCP-163 has continued to show an increased frequency of pacing, repeated transfer of the package from one location to another within its enclosure, and vigorous performance of the negative gesture if any personnel attempt to approach the package.  
 _Note: Any and all products from any repetition of this experiment are officially to be delivered directly to Dr. ████████ or the current head of SCP-163’s research team. Under no circumstances are additional items of this type to be given to SCP-163 without first obtaining prior assessment of SCP-163’s psychological state and written authorization from Level 4 personnel or higher._

 **Subject** : [SCP-516](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-516)  
 **Item description** : Shrink-wrapped rainbow sherbet “slushee” popsicle of a size and shape matching those of a 695 mm tank gun round. The label bore no text, only crude illustrations with arrows corresponding to basic operations for loading and firing; the final panel depicted a tank surrounded by several laughing cartoon humanoids, most marked with multicolored splotches.  
 **Subject response** : Unknown; round was delivered to SCP-516’s research team, who confiscated it and declined to load it into SCP-516-1.

 **Subject** : [SCP-607](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-607)  
 **Item description** : “Flying Fish” - plastic baggie with cartoon-illustrated label card in Tajik. Contained 14 white-and-blue gummy sharks. Gummies removed from the bag spontaneously animated and began “swimming” through the air approximately two inches above a horizontal surface. Described as “chewy and fishy, but not half bad.”  
 **Subject response** : SCP-607 ignored the gummies completely, even when one was held by its mouth.  
 _Note: Remaining gummies were reallocated as treats for[SCP-529](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-529), which chased down and consumed them with considerable enthusiasm._

 **Subject** : Mr Deeds ([SCP-662](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-662))  
 **Item description** : Brown paper bag containing a napkin-wrapped tuna melt sandwich. Sandwich was noted to be warm, as if freshly made, and appeared to have been made with fresh tuna rather than canned. Several personnel present remarked on the appetizing scent.  
 **Subject response** : Mr Deeds politely thanked SCP-261 and ate the sandwich, which he pronounced to be excellent and precisely the most appropriate choice for that day.

 **Subject** : [~~SCP-963~~](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-963) [Dr. Bright](http://www.scp-wiki.net/dr-bright-s-personnel-file)  
 _Note: Lab Assistant ███████ has been disciplined for the unauthorized, premature, and successfully intercepted attempt to conduct this experiment outside of official testing protocol [see Security Log Incident S19HGR-██-██-████]. There is ample previous evidence that SCP-261 produces particularly anomalous results when non-yen items are introduced, let alone non-currency items; attempting to input SCP-963-1 itself should have been obviously out of the question, even if_ _[REDACTED],_ _it was Dr. Bright’s idea, and both parties were [REDACTED] at the time._  
 _Experiment was subsequently carried out with a 500-yen coin per standard protocol._  
 **Item description** : “Sweetest Song” - packaging in Gaelic, with an illustration of two swans in flight against a serene night sky. Contained three plastic wind-up music box cylinders with surfaces composed of a thin layer of hard candy. When fully wound by a D-class subject, the tested box began to play, the candy surface shattering as each note struck the comb. After reporting a sweet flavor and intense drowsiness, the D-class subject fell asleep and remained in apparent Stage 4 sleep for the remainder of the song despite attempts to awaken her. Subject spontaneously woke when the music stopped, and reported that the experience was pleasant, restful, and “very peaceful.” Of note, while all nearby personnel heard the music, no other bystanders experienced the sweet flavor or drowsiness. While it is possible to rewind the remains, the used box no longer possesses a playing surface; it produces no sound and evidences no further anomalous properties.  
 **Subject response** : After a thorough discussion of risk, Dr. Bright asked to be allowed to try one of the remaining cylinders and was permitted to do so under observation. Results were similar; after winding, Dr. Bright reported a sweet flavor and intense drowsiness before falling asleep for the duration of the melody, waking without incident at its conclusion. Though he was observed to repeatedly wipe his eyes in the minutes after regaining consciousness, Dr. Bright asserted several times that he was fine, that nothing was wrong, and that he did not experience any adverse effects. Dr. Bright requested possession of the remaining cylinder, which was granted; it is currently located in a locked drawer in his desk.

 **Subject** : Dr. King  
 **Item description** : “Apple Seeds!” - brightly colored plastic packet with transparent window revealing contents to be small oblong brownish seed shapes.  
 **Subject response** : Delivered to Dr. King’s office by Researcher █████. Both were forcibly ejected from the office by Dr. King, who expressed vehement and high-volume displeasure before slamming and locking his office door. Dr. King did not respond to any attempts to reach him for the rest of the afternoon.  
When packet was returned to testing facilities and administered to D-class subject, the “seeds” proved to be apple-flavored soft candies surrounded by a thin candy shell of remarkably realistic shape and coloration; these were reported to be “very tasty.” Subject consumed entire contents of packet with enthusiasm; no ill effects observed.

* * *

Following the completion of this experiment series, a slip of paper was found in SCP-261’s coin return printed with the binary sequence for “I TRIED.”  
Further testing series are on hold at this time pending completion of cost-benefit and risk assessment by Site Command.

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_Appendix_

[SCP-049  
](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-049)EXPERIMENT REJECTED

[SCP-050](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-050)  
EXPERIMENT REJECTED  
“Seriously?” - Dr. ██████

[SCP-247](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-247)  
Experiment deferred.  
 _Note: May be considered under a future experimental protocol; currently too high a personal safety risk._

[SCP-334](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-334)  
EXPERIMENT REJECTED

[SCP-507](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-507)  
Experiment deferred.  
 _Note: SCP-507 has currently gone more than two weeks since its last shift. Inclusion in a further round of testing may be considered during a future ‘safe period.’_

SCP-511  
EXPERIMENT REJECTED  
“Whose idea was this?” - Dr. ██████

[SCP-537](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-537)  
Experiment deferred.  
 _Note: SCP-261 has previously produced a candy LP record, and has yet to generate any duplicate items. May be considered in a future round of testing._

[SCP-542 _  
_](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-542)EXPERIMENT REJECTED

[SCP-661](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-661)  
Experiment deferred.

[SCP-665](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-665)  
Experiment deferred.

[SCP-682](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682)  
EXPERIMENT REJECTED  
 _Note: Investigation in progress. Once found, the personnel responsible for adding this entry to the list without authorization will be offered the choice between demotion by two grades for one month, or volunteering for the duty of placing and retrieving the coin from SCP-682’s immediate vicinity per the current experimental protocol._

[SCP-811](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-811)  
Experiment deferred.  
 _Note: May be considered under future experimental protocol with less biohazard risk._

[SCP-890](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-890)  
Experiment deferred.

[SCP-953](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-953)  
EXPERIMENT REJECTED  
“Absolutely not, for what should be obvious reasons.” - Dr. ██████

[SCP-990](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-990)  
"Very funny. Quit messing with my paperwork, you smart alecks - here's the deal: you want these SCPs included? You bring me coins for them, _with_ documentation proving that preparation complied with the protocol requirements, and I'll incorporate them into the next approved testing series." - Dr. ██████

**Author's Note:**

> Always have been quite fond of the Foundation ever since I went through the logs, oh, way back around the era of the Clef-Kondraki Incident. (Turns out a lot’s changed since then. You leave a wiki alone for a few years, and the main listing alone quadruples…) Regrettably only really got through most of the first series in time for the deadline, though I’m rather tempted to someday come back and add more.  
> There are many, many reasons why this piece would never be eligible for the site proper. Especially now. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be, and I may have possibly taken somewhat shameless advantage of this. I do quite hope it’s even remotely as entertaining as it was fun to write.
> 
> Oh, and that missing link up there is a courtesy, not an accident - only look up SCP-511 if you're perfectly fine with the more AUGH flavor of SCPs.


End file.
